the hatred of a buddhist.

and the power of my hatred amazed me.
i, one of the singular most loving people i have ever met.
i, the queen of forgiveness and apologies,
how did i have a lasting hatred towards anyone, let alone something this big?

it was so amazing, in fact, that it consumed me.
turned me into a monster.
and i was scared of myself.
why do i care where the beast lives, sleeps, stays, how the beast speaks?
it shouldn't matter.
but it did.
it was a bit too real.
entirely too much so.

i almost had a hunger
for any sort of trash
i could bring about around this particular beast.
for i have slayed thousands before.
but nothing this great.
because, as it turned out, perhaps you can't fight beast with beast.
and fear is improbable, only something in your head.